It has an uncanny knack of sneaking up on you. Like heartburn after biriyani. Father’s Day seems to pop up before you’re even done recovering Mother’s Day “brunch” (i.e. toast and OJ in bed courtesy chefs under four foot high). It’s here quicker than you can say, “Remember to put the seat down!”

Wives and kids everywhere are scrambling for last-minute gifts. Will dad end up with another well-intentioned tie this year? Or maybe it’s finally time you re-gift him the wallet he got three birthdays ago, lying forgotten in the bottom drawer.

Or this year can you up your game? Here’s a list to help you make his day the best yet. Maybe he’ll get where this is going. Maybe you won’t have to add to your burgeoning collection of bath salts next Mother’s Day. A girl can hope.

Let’s cut to the chase, shall we:

1. Make him breakfast. Let there be bacon. Lots of it. Watch him scarf it down with a smile on your face. Hope that the words “high” or “cholesterol” don’t accidentally escape from your sweet smiling lips.
2. Don’t get him a tie. Or socks. Unless he’s complained about his deep and burning desire for either accessory. In which case you may need to speak to his mom about possible childhood trauma.
3. Give him your non-socks/ non-tie gift and the handmade cards from the kids. Don’t expect him to “ooh,” “aah” and “aww” over them for 20 minutes. Give him 15 seconds before he moves on. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t like your gifts.
4. Give him the day off from shaving. If he’s not someone who can pull off an “evening shadow,” he may look like an alcoholic hobo for the day. Let him.
5. Don’t ask him when he’s going to fix the bathroom light or the leaky faucet.
6. Buy him a massage. Women aren’t the only ones who enjoy spas. Mani’s are a no-no (Generally speaking, of course. If your man yearns for one, refer point 2 about possible childhood trauma); pedi’s are a maybe; massages – always welcome. (Tip: he prefers not to have his masseur look like Schwarzenegger’s cousin.)
7. If he wants to go golfing for the day, so be it. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be with you and the kids. He just wants to golf. The same applies to video games, and other miscellaneous man-cave related distractions.
8. Steak. That’s what’s for dinner. Grilled vegetables optional (especially if potatoes fall in the vegetable category). Salad can totally be nixed.
9. Let him watch TV after dinner. Try not to send subliminal messages about which show to pick. (Hint: if he’s watching re-runs of Downton Abbey you have, in all likelihood, not tried hard enough). There shall be no mention of garbage days and trash that needs to be taken out.
10. If you can refrain from having a headache tonight, you may have just given him the best Father’s Day yet.

(Disclaimer: Not having incorporated most of the above suggestions, I cannot  personally vouch for them. Maybe one day I’ll be nice enough to try them out. Till then, ties rock!)