“Confide in God. Share your deepest anxieties with Him.”

I’ve heard similar sentiments throughout my faith life. And I completely subscribe to the idea that I don’t need to pretty things up before coming to Him.

Many, many times, I’ve approached God a blubbering, snotty mess, barely able to form coherent sentences. I rest in the fact that my Abba Father doesn’t need me to get my syntax right and my emotions under control before I go to Him.

As a mom, I see this same ease in the way my kids connect with me. After behaving herself at school all day, my eight-year-old knows that she can let her guard down with me. She confides in me – and often times complains and whines – because she knows she’s in a safe place where her vulnerability will never be abused.

We, too, have the astounding privilege of being ourselves, of being brutally honest before our Father.

Yet, when I read Scripture, I notice that laced together with heart-rending cries of despair are triumphant declarations of hope. God’s people bare their hearts – but they also bear in mind Who they’re crying out to.

That duality is sometimes missing in our cries before God.

Often, we just want to get things off our chest. Our prayers dwindle into a thinly-veiled tirade against situations or people, prefixed with a “Heavenly Father.”

Often, I simply go, “God, you don’t know what I have to deal with… ” and then just start venting about hurtful words, stress levels,  or whatever else is eating into my peace that day.

Is it wrong to complain to God?

Usually, the first place we go to in the Bible when we are looking for comfort are the psalms. At least that’s what I do.

Often times, the psalmist’s words resonate with our own thoughts. David and Asaph and the sons of Korah become our spiritual doppelgängers. They knew trouble and hardship. As 21^st century believers, while our problems are vastly different from theirs, we are not immune from suffering, either.

Let’s consider at an example of how they handled it.

In Psalm 31 the psalmist seems to be neck-deep in trouble and drowning in anxiety. He tells God all of it.

“I am the utter contempt of my neighbors
and an object of dread to my closest friends—
those who see me on the street flee from me.” (Psalm 31: 11, 12)

The psalmist doesn’t paint a sanitized picture of his problems. He doesn’t indulge in social niceties to balance out the complaints.

Yet, throughout this psalm are distinct and beautiful glimpses of hope. The psalmist remembers who God is. He remembers that God is his Deliverer, his Rock of Refuge, and his Strong Fortress.

He proclaims God’s overflowing grace:

“How abundant are the good things
that you have stored up for those who fear you,
that you bestow in the sight of all,
on those who take refuge in you.” (Psalm 31: 19)

He is emboldened by his focus on God’s character, rather than depleted by a simply airing a laundry list of complaints.

The psalm take us on an emotional journey – from pain to peace to praise.

While the psalms are brutally honest, they are also deeply worshipful.

What happens when we stop at just venting?

In Philippians, Paul admonishes us not to be anxious about anything, but to present our requests before God with thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6). When dismiss the element of thanksgiving, we miss out on the peace with which He floods our hearts.

If we end our prayers with just admissions of anguish, we may find release, possibly some relief. But we may not find the power to run and not grow weary, we may not discover fresh grace for the moment and we may miss the opportunity to know God more fully.

Only when we dwell on His past faithfulness, only when we rest in His promises, only when we remember His character can we walk fearlessly into what He has planned for us.

No, our problems may not disappear. But when we come before Him broken yet thankful, honest yet honoring Him, He does a deeper work within us.

Yes, we have the undeniable privilege of lamenting over our hurts and failures to God. But let’s not use it as a license to grumble without giving Him the honor due to His name.

Pic credit: Unsplash @dianasimumpande