Susan Narjala
Keeping it Real
Questions for Those Left Behind
It’s another sluggish summer afternoon – I am trying to keep myself awake with ridiculously large quantities of caffeine.
I look at my phone because that’s what I do when I have nothing else to do. Or when I have plenty to do.
I don’t expect to see the message. My heart turns to ice the second I read it. It’s a text from a friend mentioning that one of our college classmates had passed away suddenly.
She was sitting with her family at the dinner table. And the next moment she was gone, leaving behind her two little girls, her husband, her mother, and a grieving group of friends and family.
My head and my heart feel clammy, heavy.
I call a couple of friends. Some are in tears. Others sound brave but share that they are broken. Everyone is devastated, shocked.
Messages start pouring in on social media.
She was a dear friend, a sister to many. Friends and family are flying in from all over the world to say their goodbyes. They know that there is hope because they will see her on the other side. But heartache seeps through the posts.
What stood out to me was this: here was a woman who had touched lives. Not just in passing. But in deep, tangible, meaningful ways. Here was a woman who made real-life connections which took time and vulnerability and risk and giving oneself.
Here was a woman who was loved because she loved fiercely.
Just the previous day, my main concerns revolved around building my social media “platform,” wondering how my kids would make the cut for college, and obsessing about my weight gain.
It all seemed so pointless, so silly suddenly.
A tragedy like this makes you question how you’re living your every day.
Because that’s what it comes down to, doesn’t it? Our lives are simply a series of everydays.
I have to ask myself if I’m so immersed in this social media world that I have little concern for the real people and the real conversations around me. Do I love people only up to the point where it’s convenient and non-disruptive?
I have to ask myself if I’m so mired in ‘the here and the now’ that I don’t give a thought to leaving a legacy of love and faithfulness. Am I living in the light of eternity or for the spotlight of the world?
I have to ask myself if I am intentional about living each day meaningfully or simply going through the motions.
I have to admit some hard truths to myself.
I am letting relationships rot under the pressure of work and the dopamine-addicted pleasure of social media and the rigidity of my “busy” schedule. Two-line texts replace phone calls because I tell myself that people don’t want to be “disturbed” (or is the truth that I don’t want to be interrupted?). I would rather hear eye-popping stories about some socialite than have uncomfortable conversations that address real pain or conflict or difficult decisions. I am insulating myself by setting up screens around me. In insulating myself, I am isolating others. I am not always fully present even when I am there.
I have fond memories of my brilliant, funny, brimming-with-joy friend. She was pure sunshine. She had a Ph.D. and had done marvelously well career-wise. But she shone not because of worldly accolades but because her heart sparkled.
I think I would do her proud if I stopped to ask myself these questions. I would do her proud if I live without hiding behind screens. I would do her proud if I lived more fully and loved more fiercely.
For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 1 Thess 4: 14
MEET SUSAN
Comments
12 Comments
Sarah Fernandes,
Susan, Priya was my cousin’s daughter and her sudden passing has left us all very saddened. Thanks so much for touching our hearts with your words of love and insight.
At times like this it’s only our amazing God who can remind us that we are truly not like those who mourn without hope.
Susan Narjala
Priya was dearly loved by all those who knew her. I can’t imagine the pain her family must be in – praying for all of you. What a promise we have in Christ – He is our hope for all eternity. Thanks for sharing here, Sarah!
Suzi Koshy
Susan, Thank you for this. So important to live in the light of eternity. Praying for Priya’s family.
Susan Narjala
Thanks for praying for them, Suzi! Good reminder for me as well – to live in the light of eternity, to make each day count in the things that actually matter.
Shomita Steiner
Hi Su,
How beautifully you express your inner thoughts. You make it seem like you heard some of the thoughts that ruminated in my mind. My immediate thought upon hearing about Priya’s passing… Was like you said… Disbelief. It’s especially harder to hear about the loss of people you know. Once it settled in uncomfortably and I read the outpouring of grief from all sources including the people employed in the company she built from scratch….I immediately thought… Wow… What an impact she had and how fully she lived her life. I selfishly wondered… Have I done enough with my life…. Always love reading your written word!!
Susan Narjala
Thanks for sharing, Shom! She was an incredible woman, for sure. It really makes all of us wonder how we are living our lives.
Mariam Mathson
Yes, Susan, Priya was such a bubbly girl. Vi met her only once and instantly took to liking her. It is still a shock for me too. We all get so engrossed with our petty “work” and find little or no time for our neighbours, friends and sometimes even siblings. Yes, I too have decided to make at least one friendly call a day and ask if they are well and just have a conversation at least. God bless you. Molly aunty
Susan Narjala
Hi Molly aunty! I was just thinking about how each day just flies by! We – especially my generation – are too engrossed in our devices and all of a sudden we have little real-world connection. I too need to get in the habit of calling people, making time for coffee catch ups and really checking on my device addiction.Thanks for stopping by!
Loriann
A great word Susan. I love your writing.
We waste so much time on our phones don’t we? May we shine the love of Jesus on those nearest us.
Your sister in Christ in Vancouver BC Canada 🇨🇦
Loriann
Susan Narjala
Thanks, Loriann! Love your prayer: May we shine the love of Jesus on those nearest us.
We often forget those nearest us, don’t we?
PS: I love Vancouver, BC. We’ve made couple of trips there, as well as to Victoria. So gorgeous.
Peg Bussell
Susan, I’m sorry about the loss of your friend. Thank you for the reminder to be more intentional! I keep waiting for my life to not feel so messy. That is waisted time. I need to be more intentional with spending quality time with others and sharing the love of Jesus. God Bless, and you do share a big wonderful part of yourself with your gift of writing! Love, Peg
Susan Narjala
Thanks, Peg! We live in a hurting world and yet we are all afraid to reach out and make those connections. Thank you for encouraging me today! Love, Susan