One of my readers sent me an email a few days ago with this question:

Hi Susan,

There is so much content on self-love and positive affirmations that is circulating on social media these days. How to manifest what you desire, how to love yourself, and how to overcome your limiting beliefs through practicing positive affirmations.

As Christians, how should we view these ideas on self-love, manifestation, and positive affirmations? Reaching out to know your response on this topic and if this is something you will share with your readers on your blog.

Thank you,
Rebecca (name changed to protect privacy)

I emailed my initial thoughts back to her. But here’s a slightly more cohesive version (hopefully) of them:

Dear Rebecca,

Thank you for the thought-provoking questions.

Firstly, let me wedge in a disclaimer: I am not a Bible teacher. I am just a gal who loves the Word and tries to let my thoughts be shaped by it. This is simply my personal response which, hopefully, serves as a starting point for more detailed conversations.

With that disqualifier, here are my thoughts.

The self-love and positive affirmation movement is a cultural pattern that has crept into the mindsets of Christians, especially young Christian women. ‘Manifestation’ perhaps goes a step further than self-love and positive affirmations, and seems to be embedded in mysticism. Perhaps the “Christian” version of manifestation would be the “name it and claim it” movement—but maybe we can dive into that topic later. But #selflove effortlessly slides into our daily lives—it seems so wholistic, good, and even Biblical, that it appears ridiculous to question.

Here’s the thing: The Bible speaks much much more about loving God, loving others, the danger of pride and self-absorption, praising the attributes of God, and God’s love for us, rather than loving oneself. Yet, as a Christian culture, we have grabbed onto the idea of self-love with the enthusiasm of a seasoned shopper at a Black Friday Sale. Self-love is seamlessly woven into sermons and Christian books that we have come to see it as indisputable theology. But isn’t self-love more about me-ology than theology? (Oh, of all the socially sacrilegious things to say!)

Does that mean that I’m advocating that we don’t love ourselves or that we beat ourselves up? Nope, that doesn’t seem Biblical, either. We are created in the image of a perfect and good God, and therefore every person has intrinsic value and worth. Because of the cross and the resurrection, as believers, God sees Christ in us, and therefore we simply don’t have the right to think poorly of ourselves or put ourselves down. Self-care, which seems to be part of the holy trilogy of self-love and affirmations, is also not un-Biblical when we think of our bodies, our time, and our resources as gifts from God that we ought to steward with gratitude.

But, typically, the problem with the self-love movement is that it nixes God from the picture and dismisses compassion and service to others, concepts that are intrinsic to living out our salvation. The emphasis on self-love catapults us down the slippery slope of self-absorption and pride.

So, what’s a good balance between possibly prideful self-love and definitely harmful self-loathing? Tim Keller speaks of self-forgetfulness as the remedy to these two extremes Here are a few lines from him that I read recently: “The Christian Gospel is that I am so flawed that Jesus had to die for me, yet I am so loved and valued that Jesus was glad to die for me. This leads to deep humility and deep confidence at the same time. It undermines both swaggering and sniveling. I cannot feel superior to anyone, and yet I have nothing to prove to anyone. I do not think more of myself nor less of myself. Instead, I think of myself less.”

The idea is thinking of ourselves less is unpopular in a me-centric culture. But isn’t that how we got ourselves into this mess in the first place? Adam and Eve’s me-ism led to the disintegration of all humankind as we distanced ourselves from God.

Friends, may I suggest that the solution is not just that we stop thinking about ourselves. Instead, may our gaze shift from ourselves to God’s goodness and beauty. As we find ourselves captured by His radical love and marvelous grace, self-forgetfulness becomes our most appropriate response.

PS: If you have any other questions or topics you’d like to discuss on this platform, share your thoughts in the comments section below or shoot me an email. I look forward to getting to know you.

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