As part of an online accountability group for a “healthy lifestyle,” I’ve signed up for a few fairly awkward things. For one, I tell a group of about 20 people how much I weigh every day. Thankfully, others on the group “weigh in” too (literally speaking) so it’s not overly embarrassing.

Other things we do include posting pictures  of our workouts and sharing the number of steps we take each day (with 10k steps being the “magic” number we aspire to). We’ve also committed to “reporting” on the food we consume for the day. Scroll through my phone and you’ll find my photo feed is full of pictures of my rather uninspiring meals.

But here’s something I find myself doing: When I eat healthy, I’m all about plating my food artistically and posting beautiful pictures on the group. But when I become a mindless receptacle for Coke, candy, and cookies, I get super quiet in the accountability group. There’s not a peep out of me. I’m hoping they’ve forgotten about my existence. I’m crossing my fingers that  I don’t need to confess my dessert-devouring, chips-chomping shenanigans to anyone.

Why? Because somewhere within a voice whispers, “You’ve messed up again. That’s shameful.”

Now, this is a group of exceedingly nice, always encouraging friends that I’m accountable to. All of them understand the struggle with eating healthy and moving our bodies enough.

Yet, that voice insists that hiding is the best option.

How often does that very same mindset creep into our walk with God?

How often do we give in to this idea that we are “unworthy” to be in God’s presence?

News flash: Yes, we are unworthy.

But—and this is a radically life-altering ‘but’—by the blood of Jesus we are made worthy and therefore have the right and the privilege of coming before a Holy God.

Shame is the enemy’s scheme to keep us stuck. It’s his tactic to keep us in hiding, away from the presence of God.

Recently, I came across an Instagram poll that asks followers to vote on two options. The Instagram story/ poll read: Which feels harder for you, mom? 1) Forgiving others or 2) Forgiving yourself. A startling 76% voted for option 2—“forgiving yourself.”

This was a Christian Insta page, so I’m assuming most of their followers are women who are walking with Jesus. And, yet, even though we’ve received the forgiveness of Christ, many of us are unable to forgive ourselves. We walk with our heads hanging low.  We refuse to risk vulnerability before God. We hide because we’re fearful we will mess up yet again.

But, friend, could I suggest that when we wallow in unforgiveness—especially when we beat ourselves up—we buy into one of the enemy’s insidiously clever schemes to keep us away from God.

Scripture reminds us that our struggle is not against flesh and blood. This is not a war against other people—and it’s not a war against ourselves. It is a war against the powers of darkness.

But the good news is that the end of that war is written, the timeline for that war has been planned, the blueprint has been drawn up —and, without a doubt, the Victor has already been decided.

When Adam and Eve sinned against God, instead of confessing to a gracious God, they let shame rule over them. They came up with a new line of fig-leaf couture. They tried to hide from an all-seeing God among trees.

But the God who knows all things asks them a simple question: Where are you?

Maybe God is asking you that too.

Where are you?

Where are you, _________?

Put your name in the blank. Ask yourself where you are in your walk with God.

Are you pulling back from God? Are you hiding among the “trees” of busyness and distraction hoping that God won’t notice you there? Are you wearing “fig leaves” of self-righteousness, good works, and church activity so you don’t need to go before God for His robes of righteousness?

God asked our first parents that question—Where are you?—so He could engage them and, ultimately, reveal His loving and powerful plan to rescue fallen humanity. God wants to meet with you today. Don’t let shame keep you in hiding. Instead, be vulnerable before the God who gives you victory over sin, death—and shame.

Meanwhile, I plan to keep it real in my healthy lifestyle accountability group. That’s a good first step. Now, I only have to take another 9,999 to make my 10K steps for the day. And, yes, I’ll definitely be posting about that too.

 

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