We stand at the edge of the most important week in human history—Holy Week, which stretches from Palm Sunday, when Jesus entered Jerusalem to die, to Easter, when Jesus rose from the grave. Can we prepare our hearts as we read the fourth devotional in our Rid Me of Myself Lent series? 

 

Living in south India, I’m accustomed to sun-shiny days and warm weather. When it’s “winter” here, I just throw on a light hoodie, and I’m as happy as a clam (or maybe a more apt metaphor would be a chicken tikka roll).

But when we visit the US or travel anywhere in the Northern Hemisphere, I’m inevitably cold. All I can think about is how to stop feeling so uncomfortably cold. How many layers should I wear? Should I wear a scarf and gloves? How can I keep myself warm?

Today, as I read the account of Peter’s denial of Jesus in John 18, I couldn’t help but notice the reference to Peter warming himself by the fire in the high priest’s courtyard. While Jesus was being questioned inside the house, Peter hung out outside by the fire along with the Jewish servants and officials.

While this could be an innocuous reference, the passage mentions Peter’s proximity to the fire twice.

In verse 25, John writes: “Meanwhile, Simon Peter was still standing there warming himself.” While John was likely not being sarcastic, in my 21^st-century mind, I read that as, “Dude, why are you just standing there keeping your toesies toasty while the world is falling apart?!!”

That was probably not what John was thinking. Yet, there’s something about the picture that screams self-preservation and not self-denial.

Peter, the man who had just professed to Jesus during the Last Supper that he would lay down his life for Him, is now intent on “saving face.” He is more focused on keeping warm than with being on fire for the Lord.

Peter denies being part of Jesus’ inner circle, not once, not twice, but three times. Each time, he grows more vehement in his denials. By then his hands were probably warm—but his heart had turned icy cold.

And yet, with the cry of the rooster, there is a new dawn in Peter’s life. Luke writes in his gospel, “The Lord turned and looked straight at Peter.” Was Jesus leaving the house of Caiaphas at the same moment the rooster crowed? Very likely. But when Peter locked eyes with the Lord, I think he only saw kindness—not condemnation. We read in the gospel of Matthew that Peter “went outside and wept bitterly.”

Scripture says that it’s the kindness of the Lord that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4). In that powerful moment, Peter stood at the intersection of the Lord’s conviction and kindness—and that led to a beautiful change of heart.

Peter moved away from the false warmth of worldly acceptance. He faced his fears and cried over his flaws.

Friend, it’s easy to point an accusing finger at Peter, but how often do we deny Jesus in our lives? How often are we more focused on warming our hands than on fanning the flame of faith?

As Holy Week approaches, can we consider how we might exchange self-preservation for self-denial?

May we not give in to fear and warm ourselves by the temporary firepits of the world, but may we stand before God, the “all-consuming fire,” in reverence and awe. (Hebrews 12)

Bring it Home

Why do you think Peter denied Jesus in that courtyard?

What are some ways you “deny” Jesus, without your words overtly communicating that separation from Him?

How might you step back into a place of awe and reverence before God, the all-consuming fire?

Lean In

Precious Jesus, Scripture records that when Peter denied You the third time, You turned and looked at him. While the Bible doesn’t explicitly say so, I think You looked at fumbling and fearful Peter with kindness—and that Your kindness led him to repentance. Lord, You know that, like Peter, I’ve denied You, I’ve forgotten You, I’ve shut the door on You. But would You forgive me for my self-preservation? Would You forgive me for giving in to fear? May Your kindness lead me into true repentance. Lord, I long to stand in awe and reverence before You, the all-consuming fire. Amen.

 

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