Earlier this week, I read a New York Times article about a new book by two leading researchers who study happiness. According to the piece, if these two authors had to choose one thing as the secret to happiness, it would be “feeling loved.”

The book points out that “In order to feel more loved by others, you must begin by making them feel loved by you.” Their research highlights ways to do that: listening and engaging better, being curious about the other person etc. 

While there is some merit to their suggestions, there is one gaping hole in their work. They completely missed the joy of discovering and resting in God’s love for us.

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, love is—unavoidably—in the air. Where I live in India, hawkers sell red roses at traffic lights this week. My grocery shopping app bombards me with reminders to buy candy for my beloved. Amazon flashes sale signs for pink teddy bears and red dresses. Netflix is convinced that I want a steady stream of happily-ever-after rom-coms.

While I’m not dissing the Hallmark holiday (okay, maybe I’m old and crochety and slightly dismissive of it), human love is, at some level, transactional. As the happiness researchers point out: if you want to be loved, you have to first make someone feel loved.

But God’s love for us is radically different. 

We can’t earn His love. We simply enjoy it. 

We don’t reach for His love. We simply receive it. 

And then, in absolute awe, we respond.

I love this verse: 

This is love: 

not that we loved God, 

but that he loved us 

and sent his Son 

as an atoning sacrifice 

for our sins. – 1 John 4:10

If there’s any transaction in that equation, it’s not our morality for God’s affection, it’s not our good works for God’s grace. Instead, it’s a completely bizarre “transaction”—my sin for His sacrifice. 

Unreasonable love. 

Irrational love. 

Radical love. 

So, how do we feel loved? The happiness researchers have their methods. But perhaps we could simply go back to the basics: “Jesus loves me, this I know; For the Bible tells me so.” 

Friend, could we simply meditate on this simple yet deeply profound truth? May we linger at the cross where His love poured out. May we dwell on His Word where He reminds us that nothing can separate us from His love in Christ Jesus. May we hear His song of delight over us.

May I encourage you today to

Live in your belovedness

and then

Live out your belovedness.

“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Eph 3:17-19

 

 

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