Women are getting angrier.

At least that’s what a recent poll reveals.

An annual survey by Gallup suggests that women, on average worldwide, have been getting angrier over the past 10 years. In 2012 both genders reported anger and stress at similar levels. But more recently, it was found that women were angrier—by six percentage points. The divergence was noted particularly around the time of the pandemic.

Some therapists put it down to the additional domestic responsibilities that women took on during the pandemic. Others say it’s because of the dissonance between the upward trajectory of women at work and being tied down to patriarchal systems on the home front. Still others say it is because of work stress. Not being an expert myself, I can’t pinpoint the reason (or reasons) either. But I’ve seen enough evidence around me to submit that women feel the strain of trying to “do it all.”

At this time of the year when peace and joy are meant to inundate our lives, there seem to be more fights for parking spots, more people cutting you off in traffic, more jostling in malls, more elbowing one’s way to the front of the line, more tempers flaring, more “Can I speak to your manager?” moments, more “losing it” with the kids, more frustration at one’s spouse for not picking up the slack…

We declare through gritted teeth: “I will be merry this Christmas. I will create magical memories for my family.” We have words for our kids: “Will it hurt to smile for JUST. ONE. PICTURE? ONCE  A YEAR, people!” We have instructions for our spouses: “Wear the sweater I bought you. And smile through the party. That’s the only Christmas gift I want this year. Don’t quote me on that.”

(If these examples sound specific, I have no idea why. No clue at all. I just dreamed them up in my imagination and have zero practical experience doling out these sarcastic one-liners. Clearly.)

But you and I both know what happens when we turn into Energizer Bunnies (in special Christmassy red ribbon packaging, of course!). We come up exhausted and empty. And sometimes resentful and angry.

In the book of Haggai, we read these sobering words: This is what the Lord Almighty says: ‘Give careful thought to your ways.’ (Haggai 1:7)

Perhaps this time of the year, it’s good to think about our ways, even our Christmas “traditions” which might drive us more toward panic than peace. If there’s one Christmas “activity” we don’t want to miss it is to press pause before we jump headlong into overspending, overeating, and overworking ourselves.

The prophet Haggai then shares God’s reprimand to the people of Judah, saying that they were side-lining God because “each of you is busy with your own house.” (Haggai 1:9)

Having spent ridiculous amounts of time scouring the internet for Christmas decor for my home, those words made me go, “Ouch.”

When God looks at us this Christmas may He not chide us with those same words: That we were so busy decorating our homes so they were Instagram-reel worthy that we forgot that He has called us to: “Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build my house, so that I may take pleasure in it and be honored.” (Haggai 1:8)

While our calling is not to physically climb a mountain or build a temple, may our homes be places that aren’t just beautifully decorated but where God is exceedingly honored.

So, what’s likely to change in my life? Will I have Amazon packages piling up by my front door? Most likely. (I might even have a case of “Prime-nesia”— where one can’t remember what they’ve ordered). Will I smell like I raided a butter and sugar factory because of all the baking I’ll do? That’s a distinct possibility. Will I attempt to make appetizers for our Christmas party that look like mini wreaths and Santa hats? Er, I hope I don’t get sucked into that one.

But I do pray that we will be freed from trying to “do it all” and the almost inevitable anger and resentment it fuels. May we not be so busy with our own homes that we have no room to honor God. May we be free to experience the peace of God who came to be with us.

Questions to consider: Is there a “tradition” or “magical moment” that is robbing me of peace? Is it time to re-evaluate it? Is there one simple way through which Jesus can be honored in my home this Christmas? Can I try it out this week?

Father God, Help me pause and give careful thought to my ways. I don’t just want to go through the motions, as if I’m in default mode where I inevitably get stressed out. Instead, help me be intentional about following life-giving traditions, instead of soul-sapping ones. I want a Christmas that is inundated with peace that passes understanding and a joy that is deeply entrenched in my heart. I want this Christmas to honor You. In Jesus’ name. Amen

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PS: If you’re still looking to start an Advent devotional, it’s not too late. Click here to start my 25-day Bible plan, Making Space, on YouVersion.

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