It was back in 1974 when they tied the knot. Well, to be specific: February 14^th, 1974.

Yup, Valentine’s Day.

But the two of them were entirely oblivious of the fact. Completely clueless about Cupid and his antics.

In their defense, the Hallmark-holiday concept hadn’t quite made its way to India back then.

She, a Kindergarten teacher, all of 21 years old. He, older by seven years, sporting a remarkable mop of curly hair and inspiring sideburns, completely smitten by her. Theirs was an arranged marriage.

This Valentine’s, my dear parents would have been married 47 years. And for the longest time, they didn’t know their anniversary was a “special day” of romance.

After 40-some years with a front-row seat to their marriage, I would say, theirs the kind of relationship we should pray for – where a day that celebrates love is immaterial and easily dismissible.

It’s not a love that announces itself on social media. It’s not a love that makes grand gestures. It’s not a love that follows the rule books. It’s not a love that needs date nights to validate itself. It’s not a love that looks perfect on the outside.

It runs deeper.

It doesn’t change its mind.

It doesn’t give up.

It’s a love that echoes the love of God.

It’s a love that’s fiercely loyal. If you watch my mother defend my dad against anyone’s disrespect there’s no way you’d even think about messing with him. Love in action. It always protects.

It’s a love that is infinitely patient. My dad can’t help but share every harrowing story he reads in the newspaper each morning. When he finds something remotely entertaining, the first person he shares it with is – yup, his wife. She has listened patiently for 47 years. Even laughed. Love in action. It is patient. It is kind.

It’s a love that forgives. Yes, they bicker – their fights are downright hilarious. They annoy each other. But then there’s an easy forgiveness and a quiet togetherness that they slip into. Love in action. It keeps no record of wrongs.

It’s a love made up of ordinary days. Almost fifty years of ordinary days. Of going to work and packing school lunches. Of family dinners and board games. Of hosting friends and going to church. Perhaps, mundane. Perhaps, unexciting. Perhaps not what a 21-year-old Kindergarten teacher dreamed of? That’s love in action. It always perseveres.

I could go on and on. It’s a love that prays together. It’s a love that humbles itself before God. It’s a love of teamwork – but it’s never a transaction. It’s a love that gives without counting, without measuring, without tallying. Love in action. It is not self-seeking. It is not proud.

It’s a commitment. It’s a verb. It’s love in daily action. It never fails.

This Valentine’s,  maybe you’re waiting for your special someone. Or maybe your special someone thinks Cupid should grow up and use his allowance to buy himself some clothes. Maybe there won’t be a bouquet of red roses or an overrated candlelit dinner. Maybe there won’t be pictures to upload to your Insta stories. Maybe no one will respond to your story with #couplegoals.

But whether you’re single or married, whether Valentine’s is a bust or not, you and I can still put God’s love on display – a love that waits through the thick and the thin; a love that is not about the special or the spectacular but about the ordinary and the daily;  a love that doesn’t announce itself but quietly lives in actions. An old-timey love that echoes the love of God.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

 

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