Susan Narjala
Keeping it Real
What 20 Years of Marriage Has Taught Me
The hubbers and I celebrated 20 years of wedded bliss yesterday.
Okay, that’s not entirely true. While it’s been 20 beautiful years, it hasn’t been all bliss.
Like every married couple, along with the bliss, there’s been some blunders, bloopers, and, well, just plain brokenness (because that’s what marriage is: two flawed people coming together.)
Along with gathering precious memories, we’ve yelled at each other (mostly me), been unreasonable, ignored each other, been way too busy (mostly him), weathered many storms, been in and sat by hospital beds, and wrestled with anxiety, fear, and grief. But through it all, the grace of God carried us.
Here are a few insights from the last 20 years. These are not universal truths. Goodness knows, I’ve failed miserably at keeping them. But here are ten discoveries I’ve made along the two-decades-long journey.
1. It’s not always easy to be kind to your spouse. But it’s always worth it.
2.. Your spouse doesn’t always want you to fix it. Sometimes, she just needs you to listen.
3. Sometimes she does want you to fix it. Like, right now. Or yesterday.
4.. Sharing is caring. But it’s better for each of you to get your own servings of ice cream.
5. Pray together. It put things into perspective.
6.. Opposites may attract, but they also annoy.
7. When you apologize, just say you’re sorry. Don’t tag on “But I was just…” or “But you were being so…”
8. Don’t expect your husband to be God and fix the messes in your life. He wasn’t meant to.
9. Disconnect from your devices to connect with each other. (I know—easier said than done.)
10. Remember that love is a daily choice and a daily action.
Like I said, not all these are infallible or inerrant truths about love and marriage. But you know what is? The Word of God, which says:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13
Meditate on this passage. Dwell on it. Dwell in it
After 20 years of marriage, here’s something I can say: Through it all, we’ve held on to each other, knowing that the perfect love of God holds us.
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MEET SUSAN
Comments
10 Comments
Ted Senapatiratne
You are funny, Susan!
Congratulations to you both on your 20th Anniversary! God’s Rich Blessings on you and wishes for another 20 years!
Susan Narjala
Thanks, Ted. I was worried I’d lost my funny streak. But it may be back, so watch out 😉 Thanks for the wishes too. Blessings, Susan
Caroline
As always, feeling blessed by what you’ve written. Your love of words is a gift to all who are able to read them. Thank you for the grace and the joy (and the focus on Jesus, Our Lord) you bring to every message.
Susan Narjala
Thank you, Caroline. Love your kind words! Blessings, Susan
Bill
Hello Susan,
While we just celebrated 50 years of wedded “bliss”, I cannot add much to what you say here. However, I liked your list of insights, especially number 4. And, the cherry on top was the best, the scripture you included at the end.
Thank you for what you do!
Susan Narjala
Congratulations on 50 years! That’s amazing! I’m sure you and your wife have loads more insights to share. And yes, everyone needs their own bowls of ice cream 😉 Blessings, Susan
Tim
Susan,
First of all, congratulations on celebrating your 20th anniversary! My wife and I just celebrated our 49th and your list of 10 insights is SO spot on although I’m still working on point #2.
Thank you for sharing and God bless.
Susan Narjala
Thanks so much, Tim. 49! That’s super special. Congrats to you both too! God bless, Susan
Maura
Congratulations! Your list of insights are spot on.
Susan Narjala
Thank you, Maura! 🙂