My Instagram feed is flooded with fitness videos. The nebulous algorithm has figured out that yours truly wants to get healthy this new year. So, in addition to my regular feed of Christian content, I’m bombarded by reels urging me to “Do These Three Easy Moves To Get Fit in 30 Days.” What they don’t tell you is that you’ll have to do those three moves about 235 times each and also give up gluten, dairy, sugar, and pretty much everything that doesn’t taste like cardboard, if you want to get as ripped as the influencer who effortlessly glides through those three easy moves. But that’s social media for you. (If you sense my angst, that’s probably because I get a bit angsty when it comes to fitness and food.)

But I had to smile when I noticed that mixed in with reels to build one’s biceps and get rock-solid abs, was a workout to ‘train your tongue.’ According to the physiotherapist/ influencer’s post, the human tongue has eight unique muscles “but most people aren’t doing anything to train any of them.” But he then goes on to assure his followers that “Luckily for us, correcting one’s tongue ‘posture’ isn’t very hard to do.”

I smiled because just that morning I had read James 3, the passage which goes into detail about the dangers of an untamed tongue. Watching this Instagram reel on the same day didn’t just feel like co-incidence or an “act of the algorithm”—it felt like God was getting my attention. He was saying to me—and maybe to you too—be wise and gracious with your words.

Contrary to the Instagram influencer’s insight that correcting one’s tongue posture isn’t hard to do, James says this: “No human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” (James 3: 8).

Doing exercises to train the tongue so you don’t snore or have sleep apnea might be imminently doable. But James speaks of something deeper. Taming the tongue isn’t about merely exercising one’s will. It’s about heart regeneration. Scripture points out that it’s out of the overflow of one’s heart that the mouth speaks (Luke 6:45). But here’s the good news: As a believer, God has put a “new heart and a new spirit” in you. The question is, are we walking—and speaking—in alignment with that regenerated and renewed heart? Or are we falling into old patterns of thinking and speaking?

As I read James 3, I was convicted about two areas when it comes to taming the tongue:

The words I say to others:

Truth be told, I can be a wonderfully polite person. I mind my please’s and thank you’s. I am always the first to say hi. I encourage friends with uplifting words. I write blog posts that are essentially reservoirs of nice words. But my “niceness” starts to fizzle out when it comes to the people closest to me, the ones who see me with my mask off—and my gloves on. My family often bears the brunt of words that are irritable, impatient, passive-aggressive, rude, sarcastic, and self-centered. My prayer today is that we are wise with our words so they edify others, especially those whom it’s easy to snap at, the people who push our buttons, who make us “justify” our impatient outbursts. Your spouse needs your encouragement, not your irritability. Your kids need your love, not your lectures. Your mom needs your support, not your snide remarks. Friends, can we pray that we are quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry? (James 1: 19)

The words I say about others

Here’s something I know for sure: Worship and gossip do not mix. As a Jesus follower, I cannot lift my hands in praise and, at the same time, point my finger in accusation. James is clear when he says: “With our tongues we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.” Friends, can we ask God to convict us the very moment we give in to gossip so that we don’t tear into people’s lives and reputations?

There is a time and place for correcting a brother or sister in Christ. But may we ask ourselves if we are sharing to build them up or, in some convoluted way, build ourselves up by pulling others down? And may we always, always remind ourselves that the person we speak of is made in the image of Christ. Can we challenge ourselves to call out the positive traits in others even—and especially—when they are not around? When people hear you “speaking behind someone’s back” may they hear stunningly affirming words instead of the mundane criticism of others that we have come to expect!

Along with my fitness goals for 2024, I might need to train my tongue so I don’t wake up co-passengers on a plane with my un-ladylike snoring. But, more importantly, I need to tame my tongue so it becomes an instrument of righteousness that serves to build people up. May our words edify others as we speak the truth in love. Whether we’re talking to them or about them, may our prayer be to see each individual as being made in the image of God.

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