A couple of weeks ago, the handsome husband (henceforth referred to as HH, so he can wince in embarrassment when he reads this) and I celebrated our 21st anniversary.
Except we didn’t celebrate it on our anniversary day. For the first time in over two decades, the HH was traveling for work. And so we postponed our celebrations by a day.
When the tired husband returned the next evening, we exchanged gifts, cards, and had dinner at a fancy Asian restaurant where, of course, I managed to drop Hakka noodles on the table and myself.
After 21 years, we no longer have perfect honeymoon highs. But we’ve settled into a deeper, more mature love. Yet the thing is, we still make an effort: it would have been easier to stay home in our PJs, skip the gifts, and assume we didn’t need to write cards to each other.
But we invested the time and effort — not because we had to, but because we wanted to. In some sense, we went back to doing the things we did at first — not because of responsibility but because of the relationship we share.
As we toasted to another year of us, I was reminded of Jesus’ letter to the church in Ephesus in Revelation 2.
Here was a first-century church located in modern-day Turkey that was doing all the right things — but they were doing so out of a sense of duty rather than delight. They had a strong sense of responsibility, but they had lost their relationship with God. They had substituted performance for passion.
In His letter to this church (penned by the apostle John), Jesus commends the believers in Ephesus for their diligence, doctrine, and perseverance. But then He shares these sobering words:
Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. (Rev 2:4)
Do you remember the love you had when you first opened your heart to the grace of Christ displayed on the Cross?
I was all of 14 years old when I gave my life to Jesus. A small, timid, bespectacled girl who didn’t want to draw attention to herself. But right from that moment, something shifted. I didn’t get much louder. Nor did I get any taller (unfortunately! — I’m still waiting for a miracle in that department). But I grew bold enough to tell someone the very next day that I couldn’t “help” her on a test because I had decided to follow Jesus.
The people-pleaser in me was willing to risk rejection. I was willing to bear the cost because I had grasped what Jesus endured for my sake.
Over time, however, that passion faded. I’ve walked through seasons where I’ve just gone through the motions. But He who began a good work in me is faithful to bring it to completion.
Friends, the question before us is this: Have we become disciples of Christ who check off all the right boxes — or do we give room in our lives for the Spirit to check our hearts?
Jesus writes these words of correction to the church in Ephesus: Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. (Rev 2:5)
Here’s the “game plan” for us:
1. Remember or consider how far you’ve fallen
Friends, sometimes, we forget what we have been rescued from and how we have been brought from darkness to life. Jesus is the Bridegroom of the church. He is not looking for a particular brand of passion. But just as a bride is preoccupied by her bridegroom, Jesus wants to be the first priority in our lives.
2. Repent of the ways you’ve moved away from Him
Confess to the Lord if we have delighted more in someone or something other than Him. Confess if compromise has become so commonplace in our lives that we don’t notice it anymore. Confess if we have allowed the distraction of screens to dull our love for Him.
3. Return or do the things you did at first
The Lord wants us to invest in His kingdom. To contend for the faith. To fight the good fight. To take His yoke upon our shoulders. We are called to plow the land, to plant the seed, to harvest the crop. We are called to spend time in the Word and in prayer, to visit the poor and the sick, to support others with our gifts, to share the Word with the lost.
But all our work needs to be rooted in our love for Him.
There is only one way to do that: we look again to the Cross. We look to where the Prince of Glory laid down His life for you and me.
While we were still far away, while we were enemies of God, while we were sinners with our backs turned to Him, Jesus came into this broken world and exchanged our sin for His righteousness. May we consider our ways, confess our sin, and carry out His work.
May we respond to His sacrifice by returning to our First Love.
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